The competition day was Saturday.
The sun was shining far too brightly, the air heavy with heat. The trees stood still, almost silent, and the park lay empty like it was holding its breath. I got on the bus to school.
Half-empty today, not that I was surprised.
All I could think about was my father.
Somewhere under that scorching sun, he was still working in the fields. No break. No comfort.
My father’s life had never been easy, not even in childhood. He lost his father, my grandfather, when he was in high school. My grandmother fell seriously ill after that, and from a young age, the responsibility of the entire household fell on my dad.
He had two sisters to marry off, a home to keep standing, and for all that, he had to let go of his own education.
He did countless jobs after that. None of them paid well.
After his sisters’ weddings, he tried starting a business with a friend, who ended up cheating him and taking everything.
And I never knew anything about my mom, he and my grandmother never told me, we came to this town when I was 1 year old, so no one here knows either.
Even now, after all those years, he never stopped. He’s still working harder than anyone I know, just for us. Just for this family.
And me? I was on my way to a debate competition.
Sometimes I wonder if this is what I should be doing.
I’ve always been hesitant to take part in unnecessary things like this, competitions, and distractions. I’m scared they’ll pull me away from what actually matters.
So then why did I agree this time?
Maybe because my friends insisted?
Or maybe… deep down, I didn’t want to feel left behind.
But are they even truly my friends?
These questions spun in my head as I reached school. The holidays had already begun, so the school was nearly empty; only those participating in the debate were here.
As I walked through the corridor, I looked up for no reason. The ceiling was the same, the walls were the same, but something about it felt… strange.
Almost like the building knew we were here for something different today.
I go to the second floor.
There were many students gathered, some I recognized from my class, others I didn’t. Nick, Dev, and Alex were already there. As usual, Nick was bursting with excitement.
Even though Nick and Alex weren’t participants, they were part of the management team; they had come to support us. I glanced at Dev. He didn’t look so ready anymore. His face was pale. Nervous. He was panicking, and no matter how much I tried to calm him down, nothing helped.
I wanted to say something more comforting, but the bell rang.
Everyone quietly settled into their seats.
The elimination round had officially started.
Our teacher handed us the topic:
“The Importance of Future Planning.”
The moment I read it, my mind went blank.
Everything I’d been thinking before just vanished.
But then, slowly, words started forming in my head. Thoughts. Memories.
The truth is, I’m not really into debates. But this? This topic?
I could write an entire book arguing against it.
I glanced at Dev. He looked sharp again – he had chosen to speak in favor of the topic.
And me?
I chose the opposing side.
Dev looked at me and narrowed his eyes.
“Hey, I know what you’re doing. You’re going against me on purpose. You know how tough it is to argue against planning, and you think if you lose, you won’t have to go to the next round. That’s why, right?
We had a deal you’d participate with honesty,” he whispered sharply.
“I know,” I replied calmly.
“And that’s exactly why I chose the opposing side.”
Dev looked at me again, this time, not just surprised but angry.
I turned away, pretending not to notice.
The teacher started calling names.
One by one, students went up to speak. Most of them were in support of planning.
Only a few had taken the opposite side, and even they weren’t sounding confident.
Slowly, our turns drew closer.
I realized that Dev and I were the last two left.
Then the teacher called his name.
Dev walked up and delivered his speech.
The way he presented his thoughts was clear, passionate, and structured. I could tell the judges liked it.
His voice was confident, and his words were solid.
Then… it was my turn.
I stood up and made my way to the stage.
(Hey, before I continue, I’ll tell you something. I think most people feel stage fright during their first time on stage. I used to wonder too, how do people even manage their anxiety, their heartbeat? How can someone stand in front of a crowd and say something without freezing?
I had always imagined the fear of fumbling, the fear of people laughing, the fear of forgetting everything.)
But when I reached the stage…
I forgot it all.
There was no fear.
No nervousness.
Nothing.
It felt like I had skipped a few heartbeats, and I just started speaking.
And when I said the first line, my mind began giving me words, one after another. I didn’t have to force anything.
I spoke fluently, confidently, without hesitation.
And just in case you’re wondering what I said
Here are a few lines:
“Hello judges, and to all my fellow participants.
I strongly believe that planning is not only unnecessary, but at times, it actually creates more problems than it solves. When we plan something, we put in our energy, our time, and even our emotions. And while that might sound exciting, here’s the catch: planning boxes you into a single formula.
It turns imagination into delusion.
Planning may look beautiful, even comforting.
But it slowly eats away at your energy.
Your mind begins to believe you’ve already achieved something just because you visualized it. It releases comfort. A false sense of accomplishment.
And because of that, you stop adapting.
You become rigid.
Planning weakens your flexibility. It breaks your creative nature.
And when real problems come, problems you didn’t plan for, you fail. You stumble. You feel regret.
All those hopes you had?
All those perfect pictures you painted in your mind?
They fade away.
And what’s left behind is nothing but disappointment.
That’s why I believe… we don’t need detailed plans.
We just need to know what we want and have faith in ourselves.
When we’re sure about our intentions, the path reveals itself.
Our brain adapts, our instincts guide us, and we create new ideas better than any fixed plan we made.
And when there’s no rigid plan, there’s no regret either.
Because you never overthought it.
Whatever you get, it feels unique, it feels yours.
And that becomes your real achievement.
Thank you for listening.”
I stepped down from the stage.
Dev, Alex, and Nick came rushing toward me. Their faces looked… stunned.
They started talking all at once, some confused, some amazed.
And that’s when it hit me, what the hell did I just say in front of everyone?
My hands were starting to sweat.
My heartbeat was racing now.
I don’t know why that nervousness came after everything was already over…
But to calm myself down, I kept whispering
“No one really listened.
No one took me seriously.
Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal.”
I know that sounds ridiculous.
But honestly, that was the only thing I could do in that moment.
And surprisingly, it worked.
Fifteen minutes later, the results were announced.
And guess what?
Everyone was shocked.
Even I was.
I got selected for the next round of the debate competition.
Dev, too, of course, I had expected that. He deserved it.
But me? I didn’t see it coming at all.
Then they announced the management team.
Alex’s and Nick’s names were there too
Although no one really understood how Nick convinced the teachers.
But it didn’t matter anymore. He was in.
We all congratulated each other.
But for some reason…
I felt upset.
Really upset.
And I quietly walked away…
I took the bus home.
But today, I didn’t get my usual last seat.
In fact, I didn’t get any seat at all.
The bus was full of people, packed tightly. I had to stand the whole way.
But strangely, I didn’t feel anything.
I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t uncomfortable.
Because my mind was somewhere else,
It was stuck on the thought of that competition.
And slowly, the sadness began to creep in.
I was going to face a big competition now… and I didn’t even want to.
More than that, I kept thinking,
How would I even afford the transport costs? The students were told to pay on their own.
And I couldn’t ask my dad. I just couldn’t.
I had promised myself that if I got extra holidays, I’d help him in the fields.
But now… everything was slipping away.
I reached my town. But my thoughts were still locked in the same place.
Heavy.
And just as I got close to my home, I heard voices coming from inside.
It was my father and grandmother.
Grandma had recently started working again, even though her body wasn’t strong enough anymore.
She was falling sick more often now.
Dad was scolding her
“Why are you working? I’m still alive, I can manage all the expenses.”
But she replied, “And what about Sam’s school fees? How are we going to arrange that?
I don’t want him to go through what you went through.”
Dad’s voice softened.
“I understand that.
But if you keep overworking, you’ll fall ill again.
And then we’ll have to pay the doctor more than what you’re trying to earn.
Please, don’t push yourself beyond your limits.”
He paused, then added:
“I’ll work harder in the fields.
And if there’s still time left in the day, I’ll do some extra work for someone else.
We’ll manage his fees. Somehow.”
I stood silently outside, listening.
Tears rolled down my face.
They were suffering because of me.
And what was I doing?
Instead of supporting them, I was busy participating in a competition I never even wanted.
What about my studies? Shouldn’t that be my priority?
I walked into my room without saying a word.
Skipped dinner that night.
Lying on my bed.
Just thinking.
What am I doing?
What am I supposed to do?
Am I betraying my own family by chasing something that doesn’t even matter?
And with those thoughts circling endlessly…
I drifted off to sleep.